I was scrolling through tumblr the other night while pretending to Google a vocabulary word about solar systems for one of my kids, and I chanced upon this fake history report by Obvious Plant. Of course it’s not meant to be anything other than funny (which it is, as evidenced by the fact that I had to keep convincing my kid that I’d just remembered something really hilarious about Pluto every time I laughed, so she’d think I was still helping with her science homework), but still…
As a student, I might have once been tempted to turn this in anyway, hopeful I’d at least get partial credit for the laughs.
And as a parent, there are definitely nights when I’d be tempted to have my kid turn this in, as long as it saved me from three more hours of agonizing homework help.
So…this would be appropriate for, say, a fourth grader to turn in, right?
I’m asking for a friend.
(Yes, that friend is my fourth grader.)
“I left this free history report about Lincoln at a local high school,” shared Jeff Wysaski, the comedian behind Obvious Plant.
The report starts with a solid premise: that Abraham Lincoln is America’s dopest president.
Who could disagree with that?
Conveniently, Wysaski left a space for someone to take credit. If they dared.
The evidence to support the bold statement in the title starts off with a very legit-looking bar graph.
OMG, teachers loooove bar graphs.
As you can see, studies* show that Lincoln is like, four times doper than vaping.
*Pretty sure no studies were performed in the creation of this report.
As if that weren’t proof enough of his dopeness, check out this photo of Lincoln totally dunking on errybody.
That seals it for me, even though I suspect there might have been some Photoshopping done on this pic.
The next page seems almost like it could be partly true, though a drawing would have made it more convincing.
Read more: http://twentytwowords.com/hilarious-free-history-report-shows-you-get-what-you-pay-for/