8 Guys Confess The Moment They Knew Their Girlfriend Was ‘The One’

Some swear theybelieve in love at first sight(or swipe),but findingthe person you want to spend the rest of your life with can take a lot of time.

It might take people around you to make you realize you’ve found “the one.” Even worse, you might not realize you’ve found that person until it’s too late. Of course, there are those times when everything comes together perfectly and you just know that the person you’re spending time with now is the person you’re destined to be with forever.

Check out the moment when each of these eightguys realized their girlfriend was “the one.”

 

She said she loved sports.

May sound dumb, but on like our fifth date or something she said that she was really into sports. I rolled my eyes, thinking she was lying, but then we talked football for a good 20minutes and she knew what she was talking about. I knew she was someone I had to keep around.

Luke K., 32

Myfriends said she could hang.

It takes a certain kind of girl to get along with your guy friends, and my girl did. Every time I would hang out with them, they would ask me tobring her. With girls I’d dated in the past, they’d asked me to leave her home.

Juan C., 25

Ididn’t get sick of seeing her.

We moved into together about two years after we started dating. I was kind of scared I’d get sick of her, seeing her 24/7. A couple of months into our new living situation, I realized that I was noweven more excited to come home and see her. That’s when I knew it would be pretty cool to spend the rest of my life with her.

Steven B., 31

Ilost my job, but not my girl.

I got laid off and couldn’t find a new job for three months. It was a rough time. I was always stressed and always worried I’d have to move back home to my parents’ house. Most girls would have looked at my situation and said, ‘No thanks.’ My girlfriend didn’t. She helped me with my resume and she helped me apply for jobs.

Cal T., 23

We survived long distance.

I moved to North Carolina and she stayed in Boston. It was rough on us, but after a year, we made it through. I knew if we could get through that ugly situation, we’d make it through life pretty damn good.

Jack T., 28

I deleted all my dating apps. Ideleted all my dating apps.

If you ever want to know if you met ‘the one,’ just see how many dating apps you have left on your phone. It’s true. A couple months into dating my now-girlfriend, I realized I had deleted all my dating apps and didn’t care about going back onthem at all.

Sean P., 25

My parents loved her.

My parents sat me down one night and told me that I can’t mess this up. That I’d found the best girl out there for me. They knocked some sense into me. But the coolest part was, they really loved her a lot.

Michael K., 24

Sheleft me.

I kind of took advantage of our relationship and how much I needed her in my life. I realized this when she broke up with me. Two days without talking to her felt impossible. I knew then that I had to figure out a way to get her back in my life and this time, for good.

Matt O., 28

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/women/knowing-she-was-the-one/1506333/

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Man rehabilitates mysterious baby creature, finds lifelong friend

A strange little creature was found near death on the streets of St. Petersburg, Florida. Jeff Longo took the little animal in, but was told the animal was beyond saving. That didnt sit too well with Jeff. He thought with some love and dedicated attention, he could bring this animal around.

Jeff was right.

As it turned out, the mystery creature was a southern flying squirrel, which is a common breed of squirrel in the U.S.

Jeff shared the story of this animal from its rough beginning to its eventual recovery. Check this amazing story out:

Jeff figured that the animal must have been separated from its mom, and now was left to fend for itself, which certainly meant death.

Heres what Jeff said: “I posted pictures on Reddit that day and had a bunch of know-it-alls tell me she would die, because I am not an animal rehabber.”

Thankfully Jeff took their knowledge with a grain of salt. Instead of letting it die, Jeff put a mix of puppy formula and heavy cream together, and then nursed the little guy back to health.

Jeff supervised the animal constantly, took it to work for the first few months and became Jeffs partner, as they were always together.

Biscuits became her name and quickly became part of the family with even the dogs enjoying the new member.

Jeff will let Biscuits out of the cage, allowing her to explore the house, while covering furniture so the squirrel can grab on securely and climb around.

Adorable how she fits right into Jeffs shirt pocket. Also we have video to enjoy of Biscuits wolfing down her favorite food, a pecan! The dog looks on curiously!

Check out the video and be sure to share this story with all of your animal loving friends and family!

Read more: http://damn.com/man-rehabilitates-mysterious-baby-creature-finds-lifelong-friend/

This Is How I Finally Healed From You

I used to think healing would mean closing all wounds,
stitching gaping spaces and letting scars make a home
out of you, inside of you.
They used to say that to stop the pain,
you have to stop the bleeding.
But with you, it was never like that.
It will never be like that.
You were the wound that cannot be closed,
that cannot be stitched back together.
You were the pain I kept coming back to, the
pain I’d always willingly crave. To heal
from you meant that I had to bleed
myself out. I had to claw my wounds
and scars until I bleed, until my insides open.

To heal meant I had to bleed and bleed
until I no longer bleed red, but only
black and blue.

Because that’s what it means to heal
from you, I had to empty myself
of you, no trace of the subtle kisses you’ve
mapped on my spine. No 4 am conversations of
how we would always stay, of how we would
always be together. No midnight whispers of
promises we always seemed to have
broken.
To heal from you
meant that I had to
unmend myself.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kaila-trish/2016/05/this-is-how-i-finally-healed-from-you/

5 Bizarre Ways Everyone Gets World War II Wrong

What with all the propaganda, prejudice, and humanity’s tendency to reduce the complexities of history to Michael Bay films, World War II remains one of the most misunderstood wars ever fought. If you’re a history buff, a war nut, or a really old dude with a hell of a life story, you might already know some of the following things. But if you’re like us and got most of your World War II knowledge from fighting Hitler in a robot suit, you might think that …

#5. Hitler Was In Undisputed Control Of The German Military

The Myth:

Hitler wasn’t the military genius pop culture usually portrays him as, but at least the guy commanded some loyalty. Dude was the Fuhrer, after all, and we know he was a captivating leader — we’ve seen those videos of him delivering terrifying, passionate speeches to the tune of riotous cheers.

But Actually:

Shockingly enough, being cuffed in the ears by Nazis every time they stepped out of line wasn’t openly embraced by 100 percent of the population. The German Navy, the Kriegsmarine, was fiercely loyal to the state, but harbored a deep-seated distrust of politicians and their shenanigans. Erich Raeder, the Grand Admiral for the first half of the war, actively resisted any and all attempts to Nazify the Navy, and gained some notoriety for his up-to-two-hour shouting matches with Hitler. After Raeder’s inevitable resignation in 1943, his more Reich-minded successor allowed the Nazi mentality to seep in, but even he continued to keep the Party at an arm’s length.

This month’s featured story: “27 Secret Codes For Telling The Fuhrer To Suck It (To His Face).”

The Navy even had a rule that people who joined had to leave the Nazi Party before taking part in any missions, but that didn’t mean the Kriegsmarine were passive-aggressively condemning the evils of Nazism. They were mostly just too Christian and conservative to buy into this new-wave Nazi stuff. Still, the Navy was an apt breeding ground for dissenters like Admiral Canaris, who collaborated with generals on the Eastern Front to use a wine bottle to blow Hitler up in 1943.

Which resulted in him being stripped nude and lynched, with his body left up to rot and bloat. Um … YOLO?

Speaking of the Eastern Front: Invading the Soviet Union didn’t go well for the Germans, and the troops’ opinion of their supreme commander was directly proportional to the depth of the frozen shit creek they found themselves in. Starting in 1942, the Wehrmacht began taking in Soviet citizens to bolster their ranks, and when Hitler told them to stop recruiting racially inferior people into his army, the officers politely told him to screw off. By the end of 1942, 700,000 of the three million soldiers in the Axis army were Soviets. Additionally, a type of German machine gun called the Sturmgewehre proved invaluable on the Eastern Front … after it was developed against Hitler’s orders.

He presumably wanted only pure German weaponry, like schnitzel cannons and bratwurst bombs.

Basically, disobeying Hitler was the main reason the Nazis didn’t lose the Eastern Front so quickly that the D-Day troops would have landed in the middle of a Normandy-wide vodka-and-borscht beach party.

#4. Nazi War Prisoners Got What They Deserved

The Myth:

Being a Nazi POW must have been rough. How could it not have been? Look at what they did to the people they put in prison camps. How do you say “karma” in German, motherfuckers?

Oh, it’s still just “karma”? Well … shut up. Jerks.

But Actually:

Tons of Nazi war prisoners got away virtually scot-free … and we helped them. America took in over 400,000 German prisoners, and an estimated percentage of who-the-hell-knows were unrepentant Nazis. The U.S. had relatively little experience dealing with POWs, and the sudden influx of up to 30,000 of them per week required quick thinking. So they rounded them up, took them to a bunch of prison camps, and … treated them super fine. They were fed well, and even given wine and beer with their meals, because it’s always a great idea to give alcohol to hundreds of thousands of enemy soldiers on your soil when your own army is on another continent.

Light beer didn’t exist back then, so they couldn’t even torture the POWs with that.

The prisoners even got pretty well along with the locals, after (we assume) the obligatory wacky misunderstandings. Sure, there was some forced labor, but even that was strictly governed by the Geneva Convention accords, paid, and mostly the kind of manual labor (farm work, etc.) they were used to anyway. The most common stated grievance was boredom. As such, escape attempts remained minimal, and some prisoners stated that their life in a POW camp was way better than it had been back in the German military.

After the prisoners were returned to their war-ravaged homeland by 1946, some of them kept in contact with the American friends they had made, and many eventually returned to the U.S. Ironically, these positive U.S./German relations (along with the CIA) enabled thousands of registered Nazis to eventually settle in America and gain citizenship.

Like your regular neighbors, but even more likely to ignore property lines.

But the U.S. didn’t get blitzed or anything, so it makes sense that they’d go easier on the Nazis than the more involved nations, like the Soviets. You’d think that, and you’d be wrong. In 1943, Stalin gave orders that the treatment of all Axis prisoners, including Germans, be improved. As a result, Axis POWs had it better than Soviet civilians while in captivity. It’s a wonder surrendering didn’t become the hottest fad in the Third Reich years earlier.

#3. World War II Was A … Well, A Big, Worldwide War

The Myth:

World War II began when the Nazis invaded Poland and ended when the United States nuked Japan. Sure, it may not have become Hollywood World War II until the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in ’41, but the point is that if the Second World War were a tombstone, it would read “1939-1945,” and its cause of death would read “America.”

But Actually:

What we handily label a giant, globe-spanning “World War II” was in fact a whole bunch of different conflicts, occasionally fought completely independently of each other over the course of more than a decade. Attempts to pin down a specific starting date is a matter of dispute among scholars. Oh, the German invasion of Poland in 1939 is a narratively convenient way to kick-start the story with the European main villain’s first major power play, but that was still a local thing between two countries. You could arguably have a stronger case that the war became truly global in 1941, thanks to Pearl Harbor and Hitler’s invasion of Russia. Or you could take things back a bit and note that there were way, way worse things going on globally well before the Nazis curb-stomped the Polish. The equally conquer-happy Japan had already been locked in the Second Sino-Japanese War with China since the summer of 1937, killing more than 20 million Chinese (almost all of whom were civilians) over the course of eight years. Who’s to say that shit doesn’t count? Not even the Soviet Union suffered that many civilian casualties.

When the war is so devastating that the soldiers have to dress like its the end of the world,
then it’s part of the fucking world war.

Speaking of 1937, that was the same year Italy joined the Anti-Comintern Pact between Germany and Japan, effectively forming the Axis powers. At that point, Italy had already been in full-scale war with Ethiopia for nearly a year — their second war of the decade — and Russia and Japan had been waist-deep in a series of serious border clashes since 1932.

“Ending one war and starting another” was a nice change of pace
from Italy’s usual “Ending one government and starting another.”

In short, what the Western world labels “World War II” is more of an era in history, rather than a singular conflict. If we view it as such, then the war was already underway, complete with armies, navies, and war crimes, for nearly two years before Hitler even managed to anger-mustache his way into a chancellorship.

#2. The Axis Were The Ones Committing War Crimes, While The Allies Tried To Stop Them

The Myth:

It’s not like the U.S. or UK ever did anything that bad during World War II, never mind anything comparable to the atrocities of the Germans. The Allies were fighting to put an end to that stuff, for Pete’s sake!

But Actually:

Please bear in mind that we’re about to discuss a bunch of war crimes committed during the single most violent … anything in human history, so be warned: We are officially entering bunny territory.

Scroll back here as often as you need.

Soak in those bunnies. Here we go:

Those were a fraction of the 18,000-25,000 civilians killed during the bombing of Dresden, a wholly unnecessary air raid carried out by more than 2,000 U.S. and UK bombers for the purpose of “exploiting the confused conditions” of the terrified city. Dresden was one of the many cities subjected to such bombings by the Allied forces.

But that’s enough about bombings …

Because there are so many other atrocities to talk about!

There’s the internment of innocent Japanese, German, and Italian civilians by the U.S., the British, and even the Canadians. Rampant massacre of captured soldiers and civilians. Allied troops collecting gold teeth from corpses and keeping Japanese skulls as trophies during the war in the Pacific. The list goes on, even if you really wish it would stop …

#1. The Atomic Bomb Was The End Of The War

The Myth:

Even if the entire conflict is hard to pin down, we know exactly what marked the end of things on the Pacific front. (Hint: It went bang.)

But Actually:

From Japan’s point of view, the A-bombs that America dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were essentially grenades. Terrifyingly destructive ones, granted, but far from enough to immediately make them roll over. According to Japan’s own leaders, the moment they knew they lost the war had less to do with the atomic bomb and more to do with America’s heavy overall bombing campaign of the summer of 1945, which killed more than a quarter of a million people and injured hundreds of thousands more. That’s more casualties than Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined.

“One bomb per person” is an extremely effective demoralizing strategy.

That was the point at which the Japanese knew they’d lost the war, though not the point of surrender. Instead, they attempted to negotiate an armistice that would preserve most of their empire’s pre-war borders and protect their emperor from incrimination for war crimes. Since such terms did not even passingly resemble surrender, President Truman rejected them. It was going to take something bigger for Japan to quit warring, and no, Hiroshima still wasn’t enough. Or Nagasaki. It took the atomic bombing of Japan and the surprise Soviet invasion of Manchuria on the very same day as Nagasaki to convince Japan that tapping out was an acceptable option.

Back in February of 1945, at the Yalta Conference, Stalin agreed to enter the Pacific Theater, which he did with a spectacular military maneuver. One minute after midnight on August 9, 1945 (the same day Fat Man dropped), Stalin shoved a ridiculous 1.5 million men, 3,704 tanks, and 3,721 aircraft so far up Japan’s ass that they tasted borscht for a decade.

Pictured: the inevitable result of what’s scientifically known as “making your goddamn point perfectly fucking clear.”

The atomic bombings of Japan were a horror show, of course. But ultimately, it took a carefully planned joint effort between the U.S. and the Soviets to truly end the war. But that doesn’t fit America’s favorite narrative, which is “America rules, everybody else drools,” so we tend to gloss over the whole pesky Soviet bit.

Happy Memorial Day! Check out The 94 Most Badass Soldiers Who Ever Lived and 5 Soldiers Who Kicked Ass In The Face Of Death (And Logic).

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_23856_5-bs-facts-everyone-believes-about-world-war-ii.html

Drew Peterson guilty of trying to take out hit on prosecutor

(CNN)Former Illinois police sergeant Drew Peterson was found guilty Tuesday of trying to kill the prosecutor who helped send him to prison for killing his third ex-wife.

Peterson, 62, was convicted of two counts of solicitation of murder for trying to hire a hit man from prison to kill County State’s Attorney James Glasgow, Attorney General Lisa Madigan said in a statement.
Glasgow won the 2012 conviction that sent Peterson away for the 2004 murder of Kathleen Savio. Peterson was serving a 38-year sentence for Savio’s death when he tried to hire a prosecutor to kill Glasgow between 2013 and 2014, prosecutors said.
Peterson faces a mandatory sentence of 20 to 40 years in prison for solicitation of murder for hire and 15 to 30 years in prison for solicitation of murder, Madigan said. His sentencing is scheduled for July 26.
“The evidence in this case was clear that the defendant plotted from jail to solicit the murder of State’s Attorney Jim Glasgow,” Madigan said. “I thank the members of the jury for their service, and I commend the prosecutors for their hard work and relentless commitment to bringing this case to a successful conclusion.”
It was not until the 2007 disappearance of Peterson’s fourth wife, Stacy Cales Peterson, that Peterson was charged in Savio’s death. During the investigation, Savio’s body was exhumed and an autopsy reclassified her death from accidental to homicide.
Peterson said the evidence showed Savio hit her head on a bathtub. Peterson also maintained his innocence in the murder-for-hire plot. His lawyers did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/31/us/drew-peterson-verdict/index.html

A Theory That Will Change How You See SpongeBob SquarePants

We all know that SpongeBob SquarePants is filled with some really dark shit, like suicide jokes and a possible allegory for nuclear testing. But what if I told you that one of the most popular children’s characters of the modern era is nothing more than a used feminine hygiene product? ARE YOU READY, KIDS?!

SpongeBob Is A Tampon

It’s only because of Nickelodeon censors that kids haven’t been delighted by the antics of TamponBob OhDearGodNoPants for nine seasons and two movies. He is, after all, an absorbent sponge residing in Bikini Bottom.

According to his backstory, SpongeBob moved away from home at the tender age of 13 (a typical age for a young woman to begin requiring tampons), to pursue a lucrative career as a fry cook at The Krusty Krab … which suddenly sounds super fucking gross. We’ll talk more about that in a bit.

What may appear to be a violation of both truancy and child labor laws is actually the coming-of-age tale of a young tampon’s journey into a discreet new environment named Bikini Bottom. That may sound like the pun-filled observations of a middle school child, but hold on, because the connections don’t stop there. Not even close.

Kind of makes you see this image in a whole new light, huh?

The Krusty Krab Is Just … Ew

Since the bottom of the ocean isn’t an ideal spot for raising cattle, you have to assume that The Krusty Krab makes its burgers out of seafood. At first, you’d think that the restaurant was named after its owner, which is likely true, but it’s reasonable to assume that it also serves burgers made out of actual crab meat. And that’s not a stretched assumption; hermit crabs regularly eat each other, and actually salivate when they smell the flesh of their dead relatives.

That would explain the demand.

Why would a tampon apply for a job at a restaurant where they’d end up working for a seemingly cannibalistic crab? All of the customers are unreasonably annoyed or dumb, and from what we can tell, there is no chance of SpongeBob ever being promoted to a better job or management position. He’ll never get to name it The Krusty Sponge (ew).

The strangely logical explanation is that the dirty vagina of Bikini Bottom must also have crabs. Why else would a crab serve up the crabs “SpongeBob” has prepared? Also, it explains Mr. Krab’s acerbic personality. He is an annoying, angry jerk of the vagina, leaving everyone who interacts with him feeling sore and pissed off. Everyone except SpongeBob, because SpongeBob is a tampon and doesn’t have to worry about crabs. He has an immunity to them that the characters in his surrounding area don’t.

Patrick Star Is A Butthole … Literally

SpongeBob’s next-door neighbor is the affable nitwit Patrick Star, whose entire existence is dedicated to making SpongeBob appear smarter than he actually is. But our pal Patrick isn’t a self-regenerating, asexually-reproducing sea creature at all — he’s a butthole. A big ol’ human butthole.

He lives right next door to SpongeBob, and has the speculative IQ of your average asshole. We really wish that we had some kind of deep implications of this observation, but it’s pretty damn straightforward. “Starfish” is a slang term for butthole. Plain and simple.

Plankton Is Planktonic Bacteria

Plankton is a tiny pest who dedicates his whole life to messing with SpongeBob, often in an effort to gain access to SpongeBob’s Krabby Patty knowledge. In real life, Plankton serves as one of several possible vag-dwelling planktonic bacteria.

They even gave him the same little antennae.

Some believe that a common cause of this bacteria is toxic shock syndrome, which happens when you leave a tampon in for too long. Which would explain Plankton’s love/hate relationship with SpongeBob. He’s constantly frustrated by his presence, but needs him in order to prosper. Their relationship in both the cartoon and in real life is ironically symbiotic.

Sandy Cheeks … *Sigh*

SpongeBob’s best friend is a lady squirrel by the name of Sandy Cheeks. Which is exactly what you get when you sit on a beach wearing bikini bottoms.

It’s a barrel of laughs.

Her name in association to the tampon theory isn’t exactly subtle. I mean, what more could you possibly say about her? It’s fucking “Sandy Cheeks.” Fortunately, a lot more can be said about …

Squidward Is All About The Penis

Squidward is the miserable collection of penises who has the dumb luck to live next to SpongeBob. And if you’ve never seen the show, just know that Squidward hates SpongeBob with a passion that consumes his whole life. That explains why he’s so flaccid. Every part of him is drawn like a collection of limp dicks. His head looks like a scrotum. Even his posture resembles that of a dong that’s just been told “Your naked grandmother on a trampoline. Imagine it!”

The mere thought of this icky tampon critter turns him off entirely. And he is crushed under the weight of this forced coexistence. Squidward is the natural enemy of young TamponPants, and so brimming full of angry ejaculate that he can sometimes literally erupt.

And yet, despite all of his whining and complaining, he’ll never have the opportunity for real release. SpongeBob desperately wants to be friends with Squidward, and considering how Squidward abhors him, being able to let go and stand tall again is something that he can only dream about.

I’m talking about erections.

Gary Is A Vagina. Note To Self: Stop Giggling

Finally, we get to Gary, who is quite bluntly SpongeBob’s vagina. That explains why he is his “pet.” SpongeBob is at home and comfortable with Gary in ways that he’s not with anyone else. Gary is his constant companion; the creature to whom he devotes his entire life. SpongeBob feeds and cleans Gary, and even the times they don’t necessarily get along are always temporary, because they need each other.

And just look how well they fit together.

Gary also doesn’t like Squidward, mainly because the ever-flaccid Squidward refuses to respect Gary in any way. If it’s vagina-related, Squidward doesn’t understand it, and so Gary reacts in kind.

It also explains why this underwater snail meows. Because, you know, puss– Eh, you get it by now.


“OHHHHHH, WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?” Not Vicki Veritas. Follow Vicki on Twitter, and she might even sing one of her favorite SpongeBob songs for you.

See the darkest side of SpongeBob in 7 Horrifying Things Snuck Into Famous Children’s Cartoons, and find out why certain religions hate SpongeBob in 7 Things From Pop Culture That Apparently Piss Jesus Off.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see the truth behind Bebop and Rocksteady in The Greatest Ninja Turtles Fan Theory You’ve Ever Heard, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook, because sometimes flaming us in the comments section just isn’t enough.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/mind-if-we-ruin-spongebob-squarepants-you/

Clinton: I can beat Trump in Texas

New York (CNN)Hillary Clinton says she believes Donald Trump’s unpopularity with minority voters could open the door for a Texas-sized upset in November.

In an interview with New York Magazine, Clinton said she could be the first Democratic presidential candidate to triumph in the Lone Star State since Jimmy Carter in 1976.
“If black and Latino voters come out and vote, we could win Texas,” she told writer Rebecca Traister.
Republicans have carried the state, usually by heavy margins, since Carter was elected in the aftermath of Watergate four decades ago.
A Fox News Latino poll from earlier this month showed Trump trailing Clinton among Latino voters nationwide by nearly 40 points, 62% to 23%.
There are no head-to-head numbers out of Texas, but Clinton’s advantage nationally is on par with President Barack Obama’s margin of victory four years ago. He beat Mitt Romney by 44 points among Latinos but lost Texas by 16.
Clinton defeated her Democratic rival Bernie Sanders by a 32-point margin in the state’s March 1 primary.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/31/politics/hillary-clinton-texas-donald-trump/index.html